Cathexis
by miasmana
Summary: How do you love a dragon? Oneshot. China x Japan.


**Chapter 1**

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><p><em><span>Cathexis<span>_

_the concentration of emotional energy on a person, object or idea_

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><p>《一》<strong>日本<strong>

_one.__**Japan**_

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><p>The wooden pillar of the old house was filled with endless deep notches; the perfectly straight lines were spaced apart with acute precision deep in the dark crumbling mahogany. Japan's slim fingers ran over the carvings slowly. The once rough edges had already been smoothed out by time. As his fingers slid over each indent, he mentally ticked off the time in his head.<p>

_One for days, one for months, one for years…one for one hundred years…_

His fingers curled over the wood and he pressed his forehead against the notches, breathing in the musky smell of the aged wood. His eyes slid shut, unwilling to count or see the deep carvings in the wood anymore.

_How much longer would he have to wait?_

Japan sighed and reluctantly tore himself away, turning to step into the faint morning light that filled the empty courtyard. Even so, the warm golden light that draped over him did nothing to fill the icy void in his heart. The shadows brought on by the light surrounded his solitary figure as he stood in the middle of the old stone courtyard, gazing up into the bright azure sky.

Dark obsidian eyes scanned the azure horizon as if he could catch a glimpse of gold flashing through the sky. Sometimes, he swore that he had seen it, a serpentine twisting thread of gold slicing through the sky. But before he could look again, it would have vanished into the deep blue, leaving him only to wonder.

_How much longer would he have to wait?_

He had long lost count of how many days had passed alone in this large house that was meant to be filled with more than one. Its old pillars and crumbling walls were filled with memories - their memories - that seem to echo at him whenever he passed.

They had always been together, here.

Taiwan used to come over, dragging Hong Kong along with her. But after weeks of being unable to convince him to leave, she too, had given up and left. Now all he ever received from the other were a few concerned calls.

He knew that she, like everyone else, didn't understand. They did not understand why he would willingly wait alone, for perhaps even thousands of years, for someone who may not even return.

But could anyone understand love?

_Yet…_Japan's hand stole up to his heart and curled up into a tight fist there. As time went by, with no end in sight, the hope in his heart was starting to grow cold.

_How much longer would he have to wait?_

Japan's gaze crept once more to the sky, unable to silence the growing wish in his heart to glimpse that elusive gold once more. _Just one look._

To know that he was there…and that he would come back.

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><p>The crickets' song filled the coolness of the night. Japan slipped into the darkened bedroom, lying down silently onto the cold sheets. The silvery moonlight streamed through the bamboo windows, creating swirling streams of light on the grey stone floor.<p>

Despite all the days that had passed, China's house never changed. Despite all the time that had passed, and would pass, he would also be here, part of this house that had long been cut out from the circle of time.

He would never grow used to the absence of the other's warm presence by his side. Faced with the empty darkness, Japan's mind could not help but wander back to his golden-eyed, raven-haired lover.

For even amongst nations, there were immortals that walked amongst them; with them, yet forever walking on a different path that the rest of them could never hope to reach.

Even more so if your lover was far from a human, if your lover was a _dragon._

Japan clutched the sheets in his hand, his grip tightening as he fended against the anguish that threatened to overwhelm him. Hadn't he understood the price that he would have to pay in return for this immortal love?

Yet he could not help the intense loneliness that overcame his heart during the long absences where his lover left the earth for the skies.

It was a duty, Japan knew. China couldn't help it either, because he was first a dragon, then a man.

_Hadn't he heard countless tales where an immortal fell into a forbidden love with a mortal? There never was a happy ending, for the two were of different worlds, and could never, ever be together._

_Sometimes he fears that China will never come back._

"And all I can do is to stare up in your wake and hope to catch a glimpse of you as you shoot across the sky, far away from me…" Japan whispered as the tears that he promised the other to never let fall, _fall._

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><p>《二》 <strong>中国<strong>

_two.__**China**_

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><p>It is on a chilly night three days later, when Japan sees the golden light shooting across the ebony sky and falling to the earth like a shooting star. Almost unable to believe his eyes, Japan had rushed out of the house, not even stopping to throw a jacket over his light grey kimono that barely warded against the cold.<p>

The light spirals through the starry black sky, painting looping lines on it as if it were a black canvas readied for it to dance upon. Finally, it stretches over the peak of a small hill, before descending to the ground. Breathless, Japan stumbles to a stop at the top of the hill, before falling to his knees onto the soft grass.

Before him, surrounded by streams of gentle golden light, stands the magnificent figure of a dragon amidst a scattering of amber scales. The dragon's long silver whiskers floats gently with the wind, its black mane ruffling as it tossed its head.

But it is the long streaks of blood that coats the mystical creature's serpentine body that draws his attention. Japan's eyes widen and a soundless gasp leaps in his throat and before he knows it, he is on his feet again, running, running to be by the other's side.

The dragon snarls upon hearing his approach, snapping its large jaws in frustration as it struggles to its feet, only to collapse back onto the ground. Deep maroon blood coats the grass.

In his hurry and the darkness of the night, Japan fails to see the rock in his path. The next thing he knows, he is falling through the cool air…before there is a sudden whoosh of wind and then he is caught by a pair of strong, warm arms.

Opening his eyes, he could not help the tears that sprang to his eyes at the sight of his lover looking back at him. Japan can still make out the faint outline of the dragon hovering behind China's figure in a golden silhouette.

"You promised me that you wouldn't cry…" China says softly, his gold-tinted eyes like swirling maelstroms, holding Japan's stunned gaze with an electrifying grip. A small grimace crosses his face and his arms trembles slightly under the other's weight. The pained expression, however, is quickly wiped away and even as China drops to his knees, he continues to hold Japan safely in his arms.

"Yao..." The secret, intimate name falls from Japan's lips with easy familiarity and burning warmth even as his sight blurs with tears. Still, the dark red streaks claw at edge of his vision.

"You're hurt!" He exclaims as he hastily tries to get up, surprising China with the sudden movement. The other's almond-shaped chestnut brown eyes, still shining with a soft golden light, soften at his words and a smile dusts his face.

Without saying a word, China merely reaches out and wraps his arms around the other tightly.

"They'll heal," Japan hears the other say, faintly, like smoke. "I've missed you."

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><p>The other's kisses are harsh, demanding, but he yields to them anyway. There is almost a slight desperation to their actions, brought on by the vast amount of time that they have spent apart from each other. The sheets tangle up between them, but neither pays any notice. The dragon's faint figure is still glowing behind China's back, but Japan only has eyes for the man above him.<p>

The dragon's cool misty breath settles over Japan's skin, making him shiver slightly and reach out for the other's warmth. He can almost feel the dragon's scaly skin on his body as the thin serpentine body coils around him tightly, possessively. The flickering golden shadow of the dragon mirrors China's every move, as eager as its human self to lavish its love on its mate.

China's skin is cool, like the deepest depths of the great oceans. He is a dragon after all, and water is where they live. China had told Japan once about his river, a small, underground one that flows from the peak of the earth to the great ocean in secret. It had been there since the start of time. The deep joy in the other's eyes had almost made him envious, till China had laughed and then promised that he would one day take the other there and show him the deepest part of himself that he would only show to _'his most precious one'._

At that, Japan had blushed furiously but smiled and reached up to press a little kiss to his lover's cheek.

The sharp edges of the dragon's claws rake over his body as China's hands roam freely about his body. It is discomforting, but not painful, because the other is aware of it too, and despite both their urgency, bestowed only feather-light touches that gently caressed his pale, sensitive skin. The kisses, hungry and passionate, stole all coherent thought from his mind anyway.

But though he tries to surround himself with the other's embrace, Japan is still dimly aware of the dragon that the other was, the looming shadow brutally reminding him of the fact that he was only human while the other was not.

His fingers reach up over the other's back, a slight tinge of sadness overtaking him as he feels the newly-healed scars scattered amongst the older ones on the soft skin. He brushes across a particularly ragged one in the middle of China's back, then flinched as he realizes what it was.

"_Kiku…_the wounds don't hurt anymore," China whispers into his ear, dark hair falling like a curtain over the two of them, as if shielding them away from the world. Japan nods and leans up to receive the other's kiss as he lets China take him away into a world of their own.

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><p>The sun is already high up in the sky when they awaken. Japan is the first to wake, because China is still exhausted from his injuries and having to change back into human form. He sits up in the bed, filling his gaze with his lover's form in the bright sunlight. <em>Delicate yet strong, gentle yet firm.<em>He reaches out to lightly touch the other, as if to confirm that he truly is here, by his side, now.

China stirs at his touch, dark brown eyes fluttering open like butterflies. The hint of a loving smile grows on his lips as he sits up to join Japan, gently holding Japan's hands within his own warm ones.

"Good morning, or is it afternoon already?" He beams, his smile almost childish and impish for one that had lived for thousands of years.

Japan just kisses him in reply.

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><p><em>Where the sun rises, and where the sun sets,<em>

_Together, we form a complete cycle,_

_We form our own world._

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><p><em><strong>-fin-<strong>_

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><p><strong>AN:** Hm...I have mixed emotions about how this turned out. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it.

Edit: Some minor errors have been corrected, thanks to Obsessed-Language-Freak's who pointed them out. Thank you so much!


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